Asses

The men didn’t know what to do. They had rented him for a handsome fee for the afternoon to move the tall one’s belongings across town. Tomorrow was his wedding, and following custom, he had bought a house of his own and was moving out of his parents. Tradition held that the marriage could not be consummated unless it was done in the shared home of the new bride and groom. The donkey knew all of this because he had been listening to the man talk animatedly to his brother who was helping him move. The tall man’s name was Saoud, and the other man, his brother, was called Raj. Raj had apparently already been married, because he kept warning Saoud that after they were married and comfortable, women just got fat. But his warnings were falling on deaf ears; Saoud could barely concentrate on packing the cart. He kept forgetting items inside, and they were perpetually distracted by their mother coming out and offering snacks of naan and hummus. At one point she started to cry, and the men had to spend a half hour consoling her. The father walked out of the house, but all he did was grunt, spit tobacco, and go back inside.

He was starting to get anxious as the men were taking too long to load the cart. It would be wiser to make two trips, but the men didn’t want to do that. He had heard Saoud say he was in a rush, because apparently tonight there was to be a feast in his honor, where his friends would provide endless food, drink, and women. Raj started to laugh, “See how much you like it when you consistently get your honey from the same bee,” he jeered. Saoud ignored him and finished loading the boxes onto the back of the cart. Their mother let out a wail, and began to cling to Saoud, crying about losing her baby. Raj gently pulled her off, and reminded her that he came to the house three times a week, and had been married for seven years.

Raj hit him with a whip to make him move, and he took off with all his might, straining against the load in the cart. He felt as if he was pulling the weight of the world, but he wasn’t moving. Raj hit him again and yelled this time, but to no avail. There were too many boxes in the cart. Saoud came up behind and gave a futile push, hoping to jump start momentum, but all his movement did was upset the boxes, and they started to shift. Suddenly they started to fall out of the back of the cart, and the weight lifted him up in the air, so that he was an ass with his ass in the air, surrounded by two asses.